Week One of National Novel Writing Month
Last week I told you I was going to be taking part in National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo. It began on Sunday, November 1 and the goal is for all 150,000 adult and 35,000 kid participants to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days.
So what was I doing Sunday morning?

I woke up very early the day after Halloween and my story was percolating in my brain. Rather than enjoy the last few post dawn moments snuggled in the comfy bed of the Bed and Breakfast where Conor and I celebrated our 4th anniversary, I got up and started writing. I wrote 1,639 words in that sitting and it happened pretty fast.
I was exhilirated and inspired and I’m determined that I’m not going to beat myself up if I don’t finish (just playing is really a lot of fun. You know, like how cool it is to just be nominated…) but given how well those first words came I’m thinking that maybe, just maybe I’ll get there…

Before we drove home on Sunday we stopped here, at Moonstone Beach in beautiful Cambria California. I’m now back in reality and hoping to finish the thing within 30 days. As of now (Tuesday morning) my word count is 2,782. I’ll keep you posted in the coming weeks.

I’m totally thinking about writing right now. Aren’t you?
The Gentle Art of Procrastination
Well, folks, I’ve put off writing this one for as long as I can. It’s a sensitive subject that isn’t fully recognized because of the stigma attached to it. And yet, so many of us suffer from it that I think it’s time to shine a light on it, tough as that may be.
That’s right, I’m talking about procrastination. Sure, we say we’re going to deal with it but we never seem to get around to it. There’s always one more thing to do first. I’ll freely admit to you right now that my house is never cleaner than when I have a writing deadline or a lot of lines to memorize.

Like many others, possibly even you, I have a painful story of struggle with procrastination, and I am so going to get around to telling you about it… sometime. This topic is so relatable that I fully expect that this blog entry alone will be optioned by Lifetime for a powerful movie of the week by the time you’ve finished reading it. Who knows? Maybe they’ll hire me to write the script for it. And I will, as soon as I clean the house, go grocery shopping, check facebook and get a good night’s sleep.
Here are some of the fun ways I procrastinate:
1. cleaning house
2. doing laundry
3. facebook
4. napping
5. grocery shopping
6. other errands that suddenly have to be done asap
7. organizing my office
8. calling friends
9. checking email, cnn.com, etc.
10. watching TV
11. watching my kitties do any of the many things that kitties do.
For me the only cure is a deadline. If I have to get it done by a certain date then sooner or later it’s going to get done, usually by that date. This is why I created a writer’s group with my friend Drea The Awesome. I knew that with my full time job and other time constraints the writing that was stirring up imagination tornadoes in my brain was not going to get written unless someone was impatiently expecting to see it. And that plan is working better than I’d hoped in that I am now a part of an incredibly talented group of fantastic and generous writers but the truth is that I still procrastinate like crazy and I squeeze the writing in to the very last minutes and then usually only do the minimum.
Procrastination is also the main reason this blog is published every week. If I didn’t have a deadline then you might not get any kind of regular posting here. I’ve been doing this blog for nearly a year and without Tuesday morning screaming at me there might not be more than a couple posts here. However, I’ve written some stuff I’m really proud and I’m so happy that I have this outlet and that I use it.
That’s a lot of stuff to get done! So now for the mother of all deadlines, I have signed up for National Novel Writing Month, which is where you go when you think you can actually write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days (that’s about 175 pages). My friend John broke it down to me like this: That’s only 1600 words per day. It’s definitely going to be a challenge and I won’t break my own kneecaps if I don’t finish but the challenge is going to be exhilhirating. I hope. It will probably also be a very frustrating struggle between staying on schedule and battling the procrastination monster. I’m not even worried about what I’m going to write about. The main thing is just to get it done. Everything else is gravy.
Should you decide to join me in this crazy endeavor you can sign up here and then let me know and we’ll tell each other to ‘get back to work!’ as needed. I’ll keep you all posted on how it’s going.
While putting off writing this blog I found this great article about how to make your procrastination work for you. Check it out, especially if you have more important things to do. I mean, this blog is only getting finished because I have a big writing deadline on something else.
What’s your best procrastination trick?

Intermission
With few exceptions Americans are among the busiest people on the planet (this statement is based on absolutely no research, I don’t have time for that!).
Being the busiest doesn’t necessarily mean that we are accomplishing the most, but we sure are busy.
I think we sometimes forget that too much of anything is not a good thing. Too much alcohol leads to a hangover, too much repetition of a word makes it lose it’s meaning and too much bailout money apparently makes you more corrupt.

The reason I’m thinking about this is because I’ve been running around as busy as a bee in honey marketing season and I’ve ended up worn out and suffering from the flu.
Getting sick is the body’s way of reminding us we need an intermission.
It’s a good reminder that balancing the hard work with a bit of downtime makes the hard work more productive. A personal trainer I know advocates a break from your workout regimen every time you hit a plateau. There you are, lifting weights, running in circles and getting ripped like Arnold Schwarzeneggar used to be before the muscle he flexed was merely political. Your muscles are working hard and getting fat egos from all the attention you’re showering on them but then, after a while, they get tired from all that growth and they keep on trying to get bigger so that you’ll approve of them but what they really need is a break. Once they get a little rest and perspective they are able to recover from all the hard work. Next thing you know, you’re back at the gym, you’re leaping off your plateau and sailing to new heights.
Similarly, most of us shrug off things like the flu and insist we can keep going. That not only drags out the sickness, it exposes others to it, spreading it farther and wider and eventually bringing it back to you.
If, instead, we take a day or two and do nothing we’ll likely heal faster and get back to work refreshed and with a renewed sense of purpose.
This is my new plan for dealing with an always lengthy to-do list. Everything in moderation. Get some work done, take a little break, get more work done. First, though, I have to kick the flu. So if you need me, I’ll be here:

Yes, please!
If you find yourself looking to test my theory about words losing their meaning with repetition, I suggest bubblegum, it’s a fun word so even when it has no meaning it will still sound hilarious coming out of your mouth.
Headshot Party
If you’re an actor you know that one of the most important tools of our trade is the headshot. This is nothing more than a picture of our faces, so, you know, it’s aptly named.
The problem with shooting headshots is that it’s one of the most nerve wracking things we have to do. Not only does the picture have to look exactly like us, it also has to convey personality and the wide world of possible characters we can play.
In one picture.
And when the people who are in a position to hire us for work as actors see these photos they will see them as teensy, tiny thumbnails amongst dozens or hundreds of similar pictures, so it has to stand out.
And this picture is the first impression we make on casting directors, directors and producers. If they don’t like your headshot they won’t bother to find out anything else about you. So… sort of a tall order.

Yuri Lowenthal
No wonder, then, that actors freak out when it comes time to take headshots. It’s you, a photographer you may or may not know at all and perhaps a makeup artist, if you can afford one. And once you’ve laid out $300 – $400 for a photographer, $150 for a makeup artist and you’ve hauled your entire wardrobe to the photographer’s home or studio you have to really really hope you get that magical shot. Because you won’t get a free re-shoot just because you didn’t nail it. It’s up to you to be thinking something fascinating in your head which will translate into something eye catching in the photo.
So, yeah, this process makes actors tense. And as a person who’s had my fair share of bad headshots (I was even on the cover of Backstage West’s headshot issue holding up a bad one and a good one) I thought it was high time I did something to make it an easier process.

Conor holding up the issue of Backstage West featuring me on the cover
And thus was born the headshot party.
What casting directors look for in a headshot is personality, something they can identify with in 2 seconds. They are not looking for photographic artistry. They need a picture that’s in focus and well lit, sure, but it’s not going to hang in the Louvre. So why not take our own pictures?
We have a good camera and a lens that’s ideal for up close pictures of the human head. We also have a flash called a ring flash which evenly lights the face and smooths out the little things that we don’t want to see, like under eye shadows.

me
We invited a few friends over and they dragged all their clothing to our home where instead of a sterile work environment they found a party.
I’d imagined we’d get together, advise each other, joke around, drink a few shots then take a few headshots. We did that and more. Everyone looked out for one another. We all stood together while shooting and made each other laugh, or think those deep thoughts and then we’d run back and change clothes again. We helped each other find the most flattering looks, even swapping outfits occasionally, and everyone kept an eye on everyone else’s hair and makeup.
Most importantly, though, and this is what I really wanted, we had fun. At the end of the session I’d shot pictures of 7 other people and some of them had shot me and I was exhausted. Truly, all photo shoots are tiring; you have to be ‘on’ the entire time and you’re overseeing a million details. But in this case, though the workload was greater the results were also much much better than they are in those high stress shoots. Because this didn’t cost any money and everyone was focused on having a good time, there was very little pressure to get the best headshot and we got out of our own way and we all got some fantastic shots.
And, as an added bonus, we got to spend a few hours with people we love and have a few laughs.

John Sylvain
These are some of our shots from the headshot party. They’ve not yet been retouched or color corrected but the personalities come through and I think everyone looks phenomenal.

Tara Platt

Conor Logan

Button doesn't realize that in a headshot you should always be looking into the camera lens
This is the way I always want to shoot headshots. Anything done with a large group of friends is always more fun and I like feeling in charge of my own success.
And Now For Something Completely Relevant
In these days of news reports produced less to inform than to get eyeballs glued to the screen, it sometimes seems like we’ve lost all perspective on reality. We’ve lost touch with the very prescient term, “Don’t believe the hype”.
So today I bring you a palliative for these troubled times. (* This video does contain graphic language)
This is a little something awesome I produced a couple years ago with my uber-talented sketch group, Foe Pa. I bring it to you today because that’s how we shine a light on what’s wrong with our culture in modern society – we mock it. I mean, really, if Tina Fey hadn’t stepped in Sarah Palin might be our vice president right now.
The reason that fear based reporting concerns me is because the news about swine flu is reaching fever pitch. There are 2 reasons this is bad: 1. Swine flu is less dangerous than the common flu we all get every year. Yet it’s possible that people will trample each other to get the vaccine just because news producers have to generate content that will keep you watching while they cash in on their ratings and advertising dollars. And 2: While we’re hearing all about the what if’s of swine flu there’s a lot of news going on in the world that’s not being reported. And that’s stuff we might need to know.
Watch the news with a grain of salt, that’s all I’m saying. And maybe a shot of tequila and lime to go with that salt.
ICUP newscasters:
Gabriella: Shelley Wenk
Barry Noya: Corey Blake
For more comedy goodness from Foe Pa, look no further than here.
…And That Was When I knew Adults Don’t Have All the Answers
Way back in the day, when I was 16, I learned something very important. And I don’t mean how to drive because if you’ve ever been in the car with me you know I was born driving. No, this is the story of my expulsion from high school and my subsequent graduation from the same school and how that led to my realization that adults often don’t know what they’re doing.

Reno High School
It started when I was a mere twig of a girl, just a 15 year old sophomore. My friend Rachel and I were in the library cutting class (cuz that’s where dorks go to cut class) when we came up with the idea. It was simple really: The debate club (which featured a particularly Anthony Michael Hall in 16 Candles type of guy who I’m pretty sure Rachel liked) had a process for writing on legal pads during debates. They called these ‘flow pads’ and Rachel and I thought it would be a great idea if we started a ‘flow book’ for ourselves and anyone else who was interested.
With that goal in mind we set off across the street to Rite Aid to get a notebook and a bunch of sparkly gel pens. We decorated our book and wrote the rules inside the front cover:
1. You must never use your own name. You must always write under a pseudonym. There is no limit to how many pseudonyms you can use in the book.
2. You can’t hang onto the book. You must write and pass it on to another student.
3. This book is a diary. Write anything and everything you are feeling.
4. DO NOT tell anyone your pen names and don’t reveal anyone else’s.
5. Anyone who wants to can be a writer in the book.
Those seem like simple enough rules, right? So what could go wrong?
It was so much fun. I had 7 pseudonyms going, one for virtually any emotion I might want to express. And I was honest. We all pretty much knew who everyone else was; you’d know who gave you the book and that they were the last one to write in it. Matt Davenport was a fantastic artist and his entries always had amazing drawings. My entries were always in funky ink colors. Even though I tried to use different handwriting for each of my alter egos, I was pretty much the only one who did the funky colors thing. And Amy Atwell could be counted on to rant about the school’s administration and how she wanted to cut them up and put their pieces in her locker.
No one took any of it too seriously, we were just having a good time. The book became a sought after commodity and for a fairly shy and nerdy kid like me it felt great to be the creator of something that was in demand by every demographic of the school’s society. The number of writers grew so large that you might have to ask around all day to find out who had the book.
Then one day Rachel left the book behind in her french class. Her teacher read it and took it to the Principal’s office and that’s when things got out of hand.
Rachel was called in to the principal’s office where she promptly pulled the singing canary act and named the name of every single student who’d so much as touched the book. As co-founder that led to me being called into the office.
Amy got called in too. And it was what she wrote that really set the administration off. They didn’t take well to being told that their work overseeing the students was not being done to a satisfactory degree.
All of this happened before it was trendy to shoot up your high school and if anyone ever laid eyes on tiny, pale, 48 pound Amy they’d never believe she could harm a fly.
The crazy train had left the station, though, and we were all on board. The administration decided that several of us should be expelled and that everyone who set pen to paper in that book should be suspended. Parents were up in arms; they didn’t see what was so bad about what we did. Then the local news got wind of it and everyone in the not so small town of Reno knew our business.
4 of us ended up getting expelled; Rachel, me, Amy and one other girl, Heather. I honestly can’t remember why Heather was included. Maybe she used the sailor mouth brand of language that I was fond of at the time (and that I still favor). Rachel and I were out because we started it all. I don’t think I have to tell you why they wanted Amy out.
My mom runs a before and after school program in 3 elementary schools in Reno. Back then she was only in one school but she was a big social networker before we did that online and she was terrified of how my expulsion was going to affect her business. I really felt bad about that, but to be honest I wasn’t really ashamed of what I had done. I felt kind of… rebellious and awesome.
When I got to McQueen High School, the school that took me in, I was an instant celebrity (man, I hope that wasn’t my 15 minutes). Because my story had been on the news every high school in the Reno/Sparks/Carson City area had Flow Books springing up like weeds in an unkempt driveway. And everyone at McQueen High School wanted me to write in their books. But I’d promised my mom I wouldn’t and I didn’t. Well, I might have written in one but that’s it. Maybe two. But not consistently.

McQueen High School
I was at McQueen for a year, experiencing life as a Person Who Fits In, and enjoying it. Then, one cold winter morning on my drive to school, I hit a patch of black ice and lost control, getting hit twice by an oncoming truck. My parents’ car was totaled and I had no way to get to school.
After our expulsion Heather had filed a lawsuit against the Reno High School administration and while that case wouldn’t be decided (in our favor) until we were 21, the feeling of the school board and the community was that it was wrong for the administration to have expelled us.
And so, a year after I left the school in a hail of controversy I came back, very very quietly. My first day back I was called in to the Principal’s office and I could feel the waves of hate for me emanating from him. He told me that he was watching me and that he hoped I was going to be on my best behavior. I promised. He told me not to talk about what had happened and if someone should ask me to write in a book I was to refuse. I promised.
And that was when I realized that adults don’t have all the answers and don’t always know what they’re doing. What a scary lesson for a teenager, because if they don’t know what they’re doing then I won’t know what I’m doing when I’m an adult. And I don’t. Like everyone else, I do the best I can and hope that I’m making the right decisions. And it’s not so bad. Just like having all the answers to a quiz takes all the tension out of passing a class, it also takes away the sense of accomplishment that you’ll have when you pass it on your own.
And that’s the point of this whole story: just a reminder that no one knows what they’re doing and we are all doing the best we can. And, of course, a reminder that sometimes the rebellious kids aren’t wrong, they just want to be heard. I mean, that’s the cornerstone of all the great teenage movies of the 80’s and 90’s and it’s an important lesson we shouldn’t forget as we get set in our adult ways.
Finally, an end to the madness?
Yep, it’s another one about this guy:

The President
Monday morning on my way to work I listened to President Obama making a speech about his proposed legislation to make the banking industry accountable for their actions. Like many world dwellers, I have had my doubts about whether or not Obama is just a shill for the banking institutions, as his predecessor was a shill for Halliburton, the banking industry, the oil industry, etc.

George Dubba-ya (that's who I'm talking about, ever so subtly)
But then I heard this speech. And even though he’s all Goldman Sachs’d up in his administration (see my previous blog on this extremely re-read worthy topic), I actually believe that he is trying to work within the very corrupt system to bring about a change for fairness. I’ve been impressed with his uphill battle for healthcare reform and I completely agreed with his plan to prevent financial institutions from robbing us blind.

But since I already know what I think, and I’m in complete agreement with my opinion (cuz I’m clearly a genius), I’d like to know what you think. Do you feel, like I do, that it’s been a frustrating battle throughout our adult lives to be treated fairly by credit card companies and banks? I loved that Obama told them that they don’t have to wait for it to become law for them to treat us fairly and decently. I haven’t ever heard a politician call out corruption like that before. It feels good. I feel energized and excited, but most of all, I’m pensive. I’m going to be waiting and watching to see if this really happens and if there’s a lot of backlash to this speech. What will the financial institutions do and say to turn this into something negative? Is this possibly and finally an end to the madness of blatant, in your face, robbery of the American people?
And, of course, what do you think? (use the comments space below.)
If you want more info on what we’re talking about, check out these links:
New Style Marriage
In last week’s blog I told you that my husband is my best friend and I want you to know that every time I share that nugget of knowledgy goodness I cringe a little inside because there have been so many times when that statement has been met with everything from underhanded derision to outright ridicule. You’d think I was advocating some sort of universal healthcare.
When we were engaged and I was flitting about in a cloud of bridal euphoria I got a lot of this reaction, mainly from people over 45: “Yeah, you’re happy now. Just wait…” Or, “You’re getting married? Who would choose to purposely make themselves miserable?” I actually got quite irritated after a while. What kind of person sees someone filled with joy and seeks to squash it like a bug underfoot? An unhappy person.

Marriage has long been a bone of contention between the sexes. Most religions mandate it if you want to get busy, most families expect that their children will grow up and get married and have their own children in wedlock. It has all these ideas and expectations attached to it; marriage is just another way we can judge each other. Through most of the 20th century women went to college to get their MRS. degrees, rather than to further their educations. That diamond ring was the shining example of success and security for a woman. In some parts of India a woman is expected to throw herself on her husband’s funeral pyre if she outlives him – her life is worthless without him to define her. So I get it: there’s a lot of misery tied to marriage. Many millions of middle aged and older people are married but unhappy because they got married for all those reasons stated above and not because they were so in love with someone that they couldn’t imagine not spending the rest of their lives together. And that doesn’t even take into consideration the marriages based on couples who unexpectedly found themselves expecting a family.

Of course, there are exceptions. My grandparents were one example. They met, fell in love, and were getting married within 4 weeks of meeting each other. That marriage lasted until my grandma’s death in 2004 and they were truly in love with each other through the good times and the bad.
I think my generation has more marriage that looks like my grandparents’. You hear a lot less, “I promise to obey…” in marital vows and a lot more, “I plan to spend my life with my best friend…”

Why is that? I think that it’s because our societal pressures and expectations have eased up. There are lots and lots of people who decry this as the end of morals and proper civilization, but I ask what was so great about your lives of quiet desperation?
It is my opinion, based on observation, that people choosing to get married now are choosing not a societal obligation, but a life of real companionship and intimacy with someone they are truly close to because we really don’t need marriage for any other reason. Those people never ask the engaged, “What are you thinking?” They don’t refer to their spouses as the ol’ ball and chain. Rather than entering a prison, marriage is, and should be, very freeing. It should be something you do with your very best friend.
I like that we have this new societal norm and if that is the disintegration of our moral fiber, then let’s disintegrate.

We Need Each Other
This one is about friendship. I’ve had wonderful friends, long lasting friends and people who’ve come and gone but who I remember fondly… or otherwise.
These are some of the ways that friends make my life better:
The members of my writers group are extremely hardworking and creative people who always show up fully prepared and full of great insight and ideas. The group involves both writing and reading the writing of six other people. Everyone in this group always gives so much time and attention to every other person’s work and gives what we’d all like to receive: well thought out feedback, appreciation and attention to our hard work. I’ve spent years looking for a group like this – people who are in it for the love of the art and who enjoy each other’s work and company. The reason these particular friendships are important to me is because they push me not only to stay on a schedule to finish my projects (I’m a great procrastinator) but because they lead me to great new places I might never have discovered on my own. I need them to inspire me, to push me and to surround me with creative energy.
My girlfriends are like sisters to me. We share our dreams and pain with each other, as I do with my actual sisters (and my mother). We laugh, we compare notes (oh yeah, we compare notes, its true) and we’re there for each other in our times of need with a shoulder, an ear or a reminder that sometimes we just need to get over ourselves and get some perspective. I need them for their camaraderie, their warm hearts and their empathy.

My best friend is my husband. If that sounds like a cliche its probably because that’s true for a lot of people. There is no one you will ever be more intimate with than the person you share every aspect of your life with and for a lot of us that’s the person we decide to marry. In my case the reasons that I need my husband are that he’s challenged me to step outside of myself and try new things, go where I’d been afraid to go before and because he knows me so well that I have no need to ever pretend that I’m not feeling what I’m feeling or that a situation is not what it is. He knows me better than anyone else ever has and there’s a great comfort in that level of honesty.

There have certainly been times in my life when I wished I could live in some remote (and scenic) place in the world in complete solitude and peace, without another person around for thousands of miles. And while the image of relaxing in a hammock on a distant shore untainted by humanity (except for me), with only the sound of gently lapping waves to keep me company has soothed me during many a frustrated moment, I would not be the person I am today without the help of my friends. As much as our loved ones have the power to hurt us because we let them into the innermost parts of ourselves, they also enrich us and change us for the better because we are open to all that they have to offer.
I don’t know when friendship day is but I wanted to use this blog to let my friends know how important you are to me and that every day is friendship day to me. Except my birthday. That day really is all about just me.
-
Archives
- November 2009 (1)
- October 2009 (4)
- September 2009 (5)
- August 2009 (4)
- July 2009 (4)
- June 2009 (5)
- May 2009 (4)
- April 2009 (4)
- March 2009 (5)
- February 2009 (4)
- January 2009 (3)
-
Categories
-
RSS
Entries RSS
Comments RSS




