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We Need Each Other

This one is about friendship. I’ve had wonderful friends, long lasting friends and people who’ve come and gone but who I remember fondly… or otherwise.

These are some of the ways that friends make my life better:

The members of my writers group are extremely hardworking and creative people who always show up fully prepared and full of great insight and ideas. The group involves both writing and reading the writing of six other people. Everyone in this group always gives so much time and attention to every other person’s work and gives what we’d all like to receive: well thought out feedback, appreciation and attention to our hard work. I’ve spent years looking for a group like this – people who are in it for the love of the art and who enjoy each other’s work and company. The reason these particular friendships are important to me is because they push me not only to stay on a schedule to finish my projects (I’m a great procrastinator) but because they lead me to great new places I might never have discovered on my own. I need them to inspire me, to push me and to surround me with creative energy.

My girlfriends are like sisters to me. We share our dreams and pain with each other, as I do with my actual sisters (and my mother). We laugh, we compare notes (oh yeah, we compare notes, its true) and we’re there for each other in our times of need with a shoulder, an ear or a reminder that sometimes we just need to get over ourselves and get some perspective. I need them for their camaraderie, their warm hearts and their empathy.

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My best friend is my husband. If that sounds like a cliche its probably because that’s true for a lot of people. There is no one you will ever be more intimate with than the person you share every aspect of your life with and for a lot of us that’s the person we decide to marry. In my case the reasons that I need my husband are that he’s challenged me to step outside of myself and try new things, go where I’d been afraid to go before and because he knows me so well that I have no need to ever pretend that I’m not feeling what I’m feeling or that a situation is not what it is.  He knows me better than anyone else ever has and there’s a great comfort in that level of honesty.

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There have certainly been times in my life when I wished I could live in some remote (and scenic) place in the world in complete solitude and peace, without another person around for thousands of miles. And while the image of relaxing in a hammock on a distant shore untainted by humanity (except for me), with only the sound of gently lapping waves to keep me company has soothed me during many a frustrated moment, I would not be the person I am today without the help of my friends. As much as our loved ones have the power to hurt us because we let them into the innermost parts of ourselves, they also enrich us and change us for the better because we are open to all that they have to offer.

I don’t know when friendship day is but I wanted to use this blog to let my friends know how important you are to me and that every day is friendship day to me. Except my birthday. That day really is all about just me.

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One comment on “We Need Each Other

  1. i think having your significant other as your best friend is necessary. After 13 years of marriage I can’t imagine anyone knowing me better than my spouse. He supports me and encourages me to do anything my little heart desires. Its a measure of a strong marriage that your beloved Conor is your bestest chum. Enjoy.

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